When I started this journey in January 2003, I had 125 lbs to lose. At times I can’t help but think that if I had kept it together all along I would be @ goal aready. But then I realize that until THIS journey, I never believed I could stick w/ it for more than a few months. (as my previous “normal” M.O.)
I was reading some of my archived journal entries & RAMBLINGS here last night & came across something I wrote on my 2nd year WW Anniversary after realizing that even though I had reached my “all time low weight” in YEARS (185.6, almost 90 lbs lost w/ just 35.6 lbs to go), that w/ my end of the year stumble, I had netted only a 7 lb loss in my 2nd year w/ WW:
Yeah… sometimes it feels like I’m losing (the battle), especially when I look @ a number like THAT… feeling like I completely wasted a full year of my life… but then I sit back & realize that I’ve not given up… I’ve not thrown in the towel & said “I can’t do this!” I KNOW that this is my life & what I’ve learned this year is that it’s not as easy as I thought it was! :o) But I didn’t start this because I thought it would be easy. I didn’t begin this journey w/ a finish line in mind… I KNOW that this isn’t a race. I know that this isn’t all about always doing the right thing… that it’s more about stumbling & learning along the way. THAT’S what this year has been about for me… stumbling & learning along the way… being proud of myself not because I succeeded… but because I’m still here. I’m not giving up… that’s never crossed my mind.
I’ve hung in there for over 3 1/2 years now…186 weeks & I’m still here. Still stumbling & learning along the way… but I’m not about to give up. I’m figuring it out & I’m really proud of myself.
So, we continue on…
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