Weeks OP: 129
Weight: 202.2
Loss/Gain: -1.6
TOTAL Loss: 72.8
Pounds to Goal: 57.2
Saturday, July 23, 2005
WEIGH-IN: 129 WEEKS OP
Okay... I shouldn't even say it... but I'm feeling good about how this week went! Positive Thinking, JOURNALING, Mindfulness in my decisions, etc... everything I know that works for me & WOW, a loss!! :o)
Weeks OP: 129
Weight: 202.2
Loss/Gain: -1.6
TOTAL Loss: 72.8
Pounds to Goal: 57.2
Weeks OP: 129
Weight: 202.2
Loss/Gain: -1.6
TOTAL Loss: 72.8
Pounds to Goal: 57.2
Monday, July 18, 2005
NSVs - NON SCALE VICTORIES...
You know, I haven't mentioned (or maybe didn't even make note to myself) any personal NSVs in a long LONG time... maybe a little tough on myself for not being as OP as I should be these days, but I thought I would tell you guys about several NSVs I've had recently... making me realize that I AM in a good place & that I SHOULD be proud of how far I've come, even if I'm not so proud of where I'm NOT going right now.
The last time I flew I was probably @ my heaviest, so I barely could squeeze myself between the armrests, the seatbelt was as snug as could be (next step would've been an extender) & the pull-down tray never came completely down.
When Brad & I flew out to Seattle last month, I was so excited to see how much room the seats actually had!! LOL!!
I put my seatbelt on & actuallly had a good 12" tail left on my seatbelt!! I had to point that out to Brad & almost got a little bit choked up myself!!! :o)
One thing that I didn't know was that when you took your tray down, they actually extended towards you!! So, not only was I able to get it all the way down w/out it needing to sit on my belly, but I was able to bring it towards me a few inches! That was really exciting! Brad kind of laughed to himself as I pointed this one out!
Also... it has been about 3 years since I've been to an amusement park. We went to our local one on Wednesday... I was able to ride every single ride, no problem!! I LOVE rollercoasters... it had been a LONG time since I had been on one... I was so excited!! I also wore SHORTS, which I just don't do (never have liked my legs!) & felt completely comfortable in them!
At the end of the day... a LONG 12 hour day... I took note that my legs & feet felt perfectly fine... a long day like that would've normally left me achy & wanting to go home for a nice soak.... I could've kept going, if the park hadn't closed!! :o)
These are exciting... I need to continue to keep my eyes open to things like these... hope you are, too!
Julie
The last time I flew I was probably @ my heaviest, so I barely could squeeze myself between the armrests, the seatbelt was as snug as could be (next step would've been an extender) & the pull-down tray never came completely down.
When Brad & I flew out to Seattle last month, I was so excited to see how much room the seats actually had!! LOL!!
I put my seatbelt on & actuallly had a good 12" tail left on my seatbelt!! I had to point that out to Brad & almost got a little bit choked up myself!!! :o)
One thing that I didn't know was that when you took your tray down, they actually extended towards you!! So, not only was I able to get it all the way down w/out it needing to sit on my belly, but I was able to bring it towards me a few inches! That was really exciting! Brad kind of laughed to himself as I pointed this one out!
Also... it has been about 3 years since I've been to an amusement park. We went to our local one on Wednesday... I was able to ride every single ride, no problem!! I LOVE rollercoasters... it had been a LONG time since I had been on one... I was so excited!! I also wore SHORTS, which I just don't do (never have liked my legs!) & felt completely comfortable in them!
At the end of the day... a LONG 12 hour day... I took note that my legs & feet felt perfectly fine... a long day like that would've normally left me achy & wanting to go home for a nice soak.... I could've kept going, if the park hadn't closed!! :o)
These are exciting... I need to continue to keep my eyes open to things like these... hope you are, too!
Julie
Saturday, July 16, 2005
WEIGH-IN: 128 WEEKS OP
I've been thinking...
Weeks OP: 128
Weight: 203.8
Loss/Gain: +0.6
TOTAL Loss: 71.2
Pounds to Goal: 58.8
Weeks OP: 128
Weight: 203.8
Loss/Gain: +0.6
TOTAL Loss: 71.2
Pounds to Goal: 58.8
YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN DOING THIS LITTLE DANCE...
w/ the scale for the last 9 months or so, right??
Well...after several tough weeks (after that major binge), I weighed in this morning w/ just a .6 lb gain (6/10ths)... I was thrilled! I told the weigher that I totally was expecting to see a 5 or 6 lb gain! I realized afterwards that even though I FELT like I had some rough times, I wasn't being as bad as I thought I was. I think that I feel like I'm not doing well when I'm not giving it 100%... when I'm not journaling or getting enough exercise... but now I can see that I AM continuing to make the majority of my choices good ones... maybe not 100 or even 95%, but maybe more like 80%... that has to be good enough sometimes, doesn't it??
In my meeting last week, my leader said something that kind of hit home to me. She said that some of us get stuck when we get to the point in our journey that we become comfortable... when others start mentioning how great you're looking, etc... the "critical" weight loss stage is over & it becomes easier to start slacking a little bit. That's me, completely. I got comfortable. I started feeling confident... liking the new curves that were emerging, feeling feminine & sexy, etc... then I just stopped trying so hard... & where has that gotten me?? Not anywhere positive, that's for sure!!
I've been trying to get my head back to where it was when I was in that "critical" weight loss stage... when I desperately wanted to lose weight, change my life, change my body... but does that mean that I have to begin to feel uncomfortable in my body again? I’m certainly NOT satisfied w/ where I am now... I have no desire to stay @ this weight, in this shape... but I’m convinced that being satisfied & proud of how far I’ve come (rather than being distressed over the last 9 months of nothing) is keeping me from finding that fire that’ll help me move forward again. Does that make any sense?? I feel like I’m not coming up w/ the right words here...
Anyways... knowing that positive momentum comes when positive things are happening & positive things happen when I’M MAKING THEM HAPPEN... I’m trying to get my head into that positive place... doing what I know I need to do to get things moving again... Journaling, Water, Exercise, etc... knowing that when I’m feeling proud of myself I continue to do the right things to keep that momentum going. I had a good week... actually a GREAT week... kept my PDA by my side, journaling everything in my WW-on-the-Go program (love it!)... getting in those basic foods that I know are key & moving my body a bit... I expected today's loss... of course, always wishing that a good week can erase the previous few bad ones, but knowing that it doesn’t work that way, LOL... it’ll take time, I know that, but lower numbers on that scale were a welcome sight, that’s for sure.
But how do I keep it going?? That’s what I need to figure out...
Wish me luck! :o)
Julie
Well...after several tough weeks (after that major binge), I weighed in this morning w/ just a .6 lb gain (6/10ths)... I was thrilled! I told the weigher that I totally was expecting to see a 5 or 6 lb gain! I realized afterwards that even though I FELT like I had some rough times, I wasn't being as bad as I thought I was. I think that I feel like I'm not doing well when I'm not giving it 100%... when I'm not journaling or getting enough exercise... but now I can see that I AM continuing to make the majority of my choices good ones... maybe not 100 or even 95%, but maybe more like 80%... that has to be good enough sometimes, doesn't it??
In my meeting last week, my leader said something that kind of hit home to me. She said that some of us get stuck when we get to the point in our journey that we become comfortable... when others start mentioning how great you're looking, etc... the "critical" weight loss stage is over & it becomes easier to start slacking a little bit. That's me, completely. I got comfortable. I started feeling confident... liking the new curves that were emerging, feeling feminine & sexy, etc... then I just stopped trying so hard... & where has that gotten me?? Not anywhere positive, that's for sure!!
I've been trying to get my head back to where it was when I was in that "critical" weight loss stage... when I desperately wanted to lose weight, change my life, change my body... but does that mean that I have to begin to feel uncomfortable in my body again? I’m certainly NOT satisfied w/ where I am now... I have no desire to stay @ this weight, in this shape... but I’m convinced that being satisfied & proud of how far I’ve come (rather than being distressed over the last 9 months of nothing) is keeping me from finding that fire that’ll help me move forward again. Does that make any sense?? I feel like I’m not coming up w/ the right words here...
Anyways... knowing that positive momentum comes when positive things are happening & positive things happen when I’M MAKING THEM HAPPEN... I’m trying to get my head into that positive place... doing what I know I need to do to get things moving again... Journaling, Water, Exercise, etc... knowing that when I’m feeling proud of myself I continue to do the right things to keep that momentum going. I had a good week... actually a GREAT week... kept my PDA by my side, journaling everything in my WW-on-the-Go program (love it!)... getting in those basic foods that I know are key & moving my body a bit... I expected today's loss... of course, always wishing that a good week can erase the previous few bad ones, but knowing that it doesn’t work that way, LOL... it’ll take time, I know that, but lower numbers on that scale were a welcome sight, that’s for sure.
But how do I keep it going?? That’s what I need to figure out...
Wish me luck! :o)
Julie
Monday, July 4, 2005
H A P P Y . I N D E P E N D E N C E . D A Y ! ! !
Seems like a good day for a CONFESSION!!
I'm going to fess up to something that lately I would've kept to myself...
Okay... you know all about this stupid "dance" I've been doing w/ the scale the past 9 months or so... good weeks followed by not so good weeks. Up till a few months ago I was feeling like I was doing a fairly good job @ early maintenance... one pound up, two pounds down, four pounds up, one pound down & so on... till I really started thinking about it & realized that I was actually up a good 15 lbs!! Yeah, I know, it could be worse & I AM proud of myself for not completely letting go... I know the direction that I WANT to be heading & I know that I'll never go back to where I started... but I need to get myself back to moving in a positive direction again. I know what I need to do... I know what works... JOURNALING, positive thought, activity, etc... I just need to do it... CONSISTENTLY!!! Anyways... that’s where I am in my journey at the moment.
Now for my confession...
After a FABULOUS 8 day trip to Seattle w/ my DH (no kids!!) eating wonderful fresh food, I was home for one day w/ my kiddos, then they all took off to South Dakota for a long fishing weekend w/ the guys.... leaving me home alone, which was fine, but I found myself falling back into a "eating whatever I want because nobody is around" mode on Saturday. (“closet eating”... kinda like eating in your car & hiding the trash... you know what I mean) MAJOR BINGE... cookies, cookie dough, caramel corn, pizza, sorbet, etc... I’ve never been a binger & certainly have never done it to this extent in my entire life, although I WAS a “closet eater” as mentioned above.
I DID end up journaling it all @ the end of the night... 101 points... just (barely) under 4000 calories!!!! UGH. I had even weighed in THAT morning... up to 203, not a surprise after a week of good food (not ALL healthy food), a can of tomato juice w/ over 1000 grams of sodium the night before & a little PMS (sorry) ...but I even said out loud to my leader as I was leaving "I'm going to be back under 200 w/in 2 weeks!!" then I headed straight to the grocery store where I picked up all that crap... not even 15 minutes later! (w/ the intention of buying a good cut of meat & some milk!)
Anyways... I’m fine... maybe a little TOO fine, cuz I know how to pick myself back up & move forward, just as I’ve been doing for the last 9+ months. Getting nowhere fast. I’ve got my “safeguards” in place... #1 being JEANS... they’re getting TIGHT & I’m NOT going to go up in size (AGAIN... *see NOTE below), so I have no choice but to get it together, right??
Okay... gimme a little feedback guys. I feel like I know what to do... but a little advice, support w/ a bit of butt kicking always helps!! :o)
Thanks!
Julie...the rambler. :o)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*NOTE... one of my "safeguards" is to get rid of my larger clothes so I don't have a chance to "shop my closet" if things start getting tight. I had gotten rid of everything except several nice pairs of size 18 jeans, which I gave to my girlfriend's mother. Well... sometime in the spring I got them back... didn't want them, shouldn't have held onto them, but I did. BAD MOVE. After all of this dancing I've been doing w/ the scale, finding myself UP 15+ lbs, my size 16 jeans are pretty snug... okay, REALLY sung, LOL... and they looked awful on me... so I "shopped" in that bag of jeans. At first they were all loose, but now they're TIGHT!! Not good. I know better now... they're gone as soon as I'm back in my size 16s!
I'm going to fess up to something that lately I would've kept to myself...
Okay... you know all about this stupid "dance" I've been doing w/ the scale the past 9 months or so... good weeks followed by not so good weeks. Up till a few months ago I was feeling like I was doing a fairly good job @ early maintenance... one pound up, two pounds down, four pounds up, one pound down & so on... till I really started thinking about it & realized that I was actually up a good 15 lbs!! Yeah, I know, it could be worse & I AM proud of myself for not completely letting go... I know the direction that I WANT to be heading & I know that I'll never go back to where I started... but I need to get myself back to moving in a positive direction again. I know what I need to do... I know what works... JOURNALING, positive thought, activity, etc... I just need to do it... CONSISTENTLY!!! Anyways... that’s where I am in my journey at the moment.
Now for my confession...
After a FABULOUS 8 day trip to Seattle w/ my DH (no kids!!) eating wonderful fresh food, I was home for one day w/ my kiddos, then they all took off to South Dakota for a long fishing weekend w/ the guys.... leaving me home alone, which was fine, but I found myself falling back into a "eating whatever I want because nobody is around" mode on Saturday. (“closet eating”... kinda like eating in your car & hiding the trash... you know what I mean) MAJOR BINGE... cookies, cookie dough, caramel corn, pizza, sorbet, etc... I’ve never been a binger & certainly have never done it to this extent in my entire life, although I WAS a “closet eater” as mentioned above.
I DID end up journaling it all @ the end of the night... 101 points... just (barely) under 4000 calories!!!! UGH. I had even weighed in THAT morning... up to 203, not a surprise after a week of good food (not ALL healthy food), a can of tomato juice w/ over 1000 grams of sodium the night before & a little PMS (sorry) ...but I even said out loud to my leader as I was leaving "I'm going to be back under 200 w/in 2 weeks!!" then I headed straight to the grocery store where I picked up all that crap... not even 15 minutes later! (w/ the intention of buying a good cut of meat & some milk!)
Anyways... I’m fine... maybe a little TOO fine, cuz I know how to pick myself back up & move forward, just as I’ve been doing for the last 9+ months. Getting nowhere fast. I’ve got my “safeguards” in place... #1 being JEANS... they’re getting TIGHT & I’m NOT going to go up in size (AGAIN... *see NOTE below), so I have no choice but to get it together, right??
Okay... gimme a little feedback guys. I feel like I know what to do... but a little advice, support w/ a bit of butt kicking always helps!! :o)
Thanks!
Julie...the rambler. :o)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*NOTE... one of my "safeguards" is to get rid of my larger clothes so I don't have a chance to "shop my closet" if things start getting tight. I had gotten rid of everything except several nice pairs of size 18 jeans, which I gave to my girlfriend's mother. Well... sometime in the spring I got them back... didn't want them, shouldn't have held onto them, but I did. BAD MOVE. After all of this dancing I've been doing w/ the scale, finding myself UP 15+ lbs, my size 16 jeans are pretty snug... okay, REALLY sung, LOL... and they looked awful on me... so I "shopped" in that bag of jeans. At first they were all loose, but now they're TIGHT!! Not good. I know better now... they're gone as soon as I'm back in my size 16s!
Saturday, July 2, 2005
WEIGH-IN: 126 WEEKS OP
This was after 8 wonderful days in Seattle w/ Brad... lots of wonderful, fresh foods... fish, nice cuts of beef, veggies... maybe just a few too many desserts!
So...I walked out of this meeting 3.3 lbs above 199... told my leader & the receptionists that I was giving myself two weeks to get back under 200... that I was tired of playing games... check out my journal entry to see what happened next. UGH!
Weeks OP: 126
Weight: 203.2
Loss/Gain: +2.4
TOTAL Loss: 71.8
Pounds to Goal: 58.2
So...I walked out of this meeting 3.3 lbs above 199... told my leader & the receptionists that I was giving myself two weeks to get back under 200... that I was tired of playing games... check out my journal entry to see what happened next. UGH!
Weeks OP: 126
Weight: 203.2
Loss/Gain: +2.4
TOTAL Loss: 71.8
Pounds to Goal: 58.2
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