RAMBLING...2 YEAR WW Anniversary... a Julie Ramble

Hey all... just wanted to share w/ my GoaD family that yesterday was my 2 year anniversary.

I have to tell you that THIS anniversary is COMPLETELY different than last year's (you can read my 1st year anniversary rambling on my website... http://tinyurl.com/5h4fs)... I mean, last year I had SO MUCH success as far as weight loss goes... I had lost 65 lbs & I was sooooooo motivated & so religiously OP. I was right on the verge of leaping into ONDERLAND... it was such an exciting & emotional time for me.

This year, however, has been REALLY rough weight-wise. Yeah, I made it into ONDERLAND (in February) & haven't looked back, but it took me 32 (w/ many weeks of nothing in between) weeks to reach my lowest weight of 185.6... 17.5 lbs... averaging out to a 1/2 lb per week... perfectly OP (98% anyways), still determined to do what I knew was right, etc...

I joined a gym in June, worked w/ a Personal Trainer for the summer, loved every minute of it! I’m still going to the gym... mainly for Aqua classes (awesome workout), but the weight training has fallen to the wayside & I really want to get back to it (got a weight bench for Christmas! LOL!).

The last 4 months or so have been all about trying to keep my head above water (& not doing a very good job of it!). I’ve been stumbling & some days I’m completely up to no good :o) ...I’ve stopped moving forward (even if it was sooooo slowly) & have even taken several steps backwards. My weight loss for the year is now sitting @ about 7 lbs. WOW, that’s a tough number to wrap my head around.

Yeah... sometimes it feels like I’m losing (the battle), especially when I look @ a number like THAT... feeling like I completely wasted a full year of my life... but then I sit back & realize that I’ve not given up... I’ve not thrown in the towel & said “I can’t do this!” I KNOW that this is my life & what I’ve learned this year is that it’s not as easy as I thought it was! :o) But I didn’t start this because I thought it would be easy. I didn’t begin this journey w/ a finish line in mind... I KNOW that this isn’t a race. I know that this isn’t all about always doing the right thing... that it’s more about stumbling & learning along the way. THAT’S what this year has been about for me... stumbling & learning along the way... being proud of myself not because I succeeded... but because I’m still here. I’m not giving up... that’s never crossed my mind.

I DO want more, though... I WANT to move forward & make it to goal this year. I want to PARTICIPATE in the challenges, rather than just head them up! :o) I want to find the time for ME again... time to be MINDFUL & THOUGHTFUL. I’ve been so darned busy lately that I’ve not taken the time for ME that I need & I’m going to make the point of doing so again.

Okay... I’m rambling on w/ absolutely no thought of where I’m going (word-wise)...

...just know that I’m OKAY.

I’m sorry that I don’t have as much time for all of you right now... I miss being a part of GoaD on a daily basis, but I’m still here.

Thank you for being here for ME!

Julie