OMG!!! I DID IT! :o)

First of all, I have to say a BIG Thank You to everyone for all of the “loser vibes”, encouragement & warm fuzzies... you guys are all really REALLY special to me... I could feel you all surrounding me as I stepped up to the scale this morning. :o)

Well… I walked into the weigh-in booth where Michelle, my leader, was weighing & I said “this is my week!” & she says “I know, I was thinking about that this morning, this is the day you are here!” & I said “No, this is MY week!!” :o) I hesitated getting on the scale… why in the world was I so nervous? It’s crazy!!! I stepped up… saying to my self “199, 199, PLEASE 199!” & there it was… 199!!! OMG! I just stood there & looked @ that number & I started to shake… put my hands up to my face & just bawled, right then & there, still on the scale!! What a girl, huh? :o) Michelle gave me a big hug & said she was so excited for me! She knew how big this was for me. She asked me if it would be okay if I shared WHY it was so big w/ the whole group… that most people wouldn’t be open about their weight, but that she knew there are members who would really be inspired by me opening up about it & I said “sure… I had been thinking about that”

It was funny… as I turned to leave the booth, Michelle says really loudly “hey guys, those are tears of joy!” LOL! I’m sure some would think I was upset, seeing me walk out w/ teary eyes & a red face. :o)

There are several ladies that I have gotten friendly w/ over the last few months, two of whom are lifetime members who both lost over 100lbs each & they are so encouraging, just like you guys are… they were waiting to hear how it went & were all smiles when I walked over to sit down. Oh, it’s just so nice to have that personal connection w/ people who know what this is all about, you know? Who realize how big this is to all of us & who are just waiting to give you a big hug or pat you on the back & tell you how proud they are of you. WOW!

There was a new girl sitting next to me & she said “I don’t know what you’ve done, but congratulations!” :o) I laughed & told her what I had done… introduced myself & chatted w/ her for a while. She said she has 110 lbs to lose & I told her that when I started out I had 125 lbs to lose & had lost 66 lbs in the last year. It feels really good to let those who have a lot of weight to lose see that it can be done… that it just take lots of patience.

Anyways… the meeting was great...Michelle had us turn to a neighbor that we didn’t know & share w/ them what we did this week that we’re proud about, so I turned to a girl I hadn’t seen before & talked to her. She has been doing WW for a month now, must be over 300 lbs & has lost 11 lbs. So, there again, I really felt the need to open up to her & let her know how far I had come, just so she could be hopeful for her future. I like making these connections. This is one reason I really feel the need to go to meetings... I mean, I get so much out of being a part of GoaD each & every day... I know I would more than likely be fine w/out going to meetings, but just making those personal connections w/ others, I feel a responsibility to being there, you know? I want to continue to be someone that those w/ a lot of weight can look at & see themselves in me. Even those w/out as much to lose, I know it’s a struggle for them, too... overwhelming, too... but those who have ALOT to lose need to see those great successes, like the 2 ladies who have lost over 100 lbs! It’s really encouraging to have them there each week.

ANYWAYS... when Michelle got to the awards, she left me till last & said “there is one person here who cried when she got on this scale today, but they were tears of joy! … Julie… do you want to share how much you’ve lost?” & I told them… “66 lbs” & Michelle said “it’s not the 66 lbs that made her cry, though... I asked her if she would be willing to share w/ you guys why” & she looked at me to share & I couldn’t even talk!! LOL! Tears were welling up again, what a surprise… but I finally choked out “this is the first time since 1990 that I’ve been under 200 lbs!” It’s funny to think about it now... hearing the Oohs & Wows & people catching their breath... but at the time, I think I was hyper focused on just breathing & not losing it completely! She asked me what I am doing differently & I said “EVERYTHING!! But mainly I just changed my HEAD! I have always been a WW failure ... it’s not hard to be one, anyone can fail w/ WW... but I think that WW is the only program out there that will also help me succeed. My 1 year WW Anniversary was last month & it’s been great! I know that this is my life & I always look for the positive. I’m not perfect, far from it, but I always know where I am going & I always make my next step a positive one.” It always blows me away when someone from behind me reaches up & rubs my shoulder to make a personal connection & to give me that silent “I’m proud of you”. Lots of congratulations as I was leaving, too... that’s just cool, huh? :o)

Anyways (I say that a lot, don’t I? LOL!!)...

OMG, I DO know how to go on (& on & on), don’t I? I don’t know... I guess just really enjoy relaying the emotion behind my BIG emotional experiences here. LOL!!

Okay... I have to be done!! :o)

AGAIN... THANK YOU guys, SO MUCH for all of the incredible support & encouragement these last several weeks... I am so SO proud to be a part of such a great support system & an awesome bunch of LOSERS!! :o) I hope you’re not tired of hearing me say this... I am pretty sure I would’ve been okay if I were doing this on my own... but I know for a fact that I am THRIVING because of all of you!! We’re changing lives here, you know??


xxoxoxooxo... Julie


Oh yeah, I bawled all the way home, too! LOL! :o)

FEBRUARY 15th...

NOTE...this morning's weight (on my scale...knowing how it relates to WW's scales) was 199.2! LOL!! Oh well! What can I do??? :o)

TODAY'S WI - 2 LBS DOWN... 3/10ths TO GO! ARG!!!

LOL!! :o)

So darned close I can just scream!!! :o) I weighed in today w/ my leader & there it was... 200.2... only .3 pounds away from ONDERLAND! Dang it!! :o) My leader says "run to the bathroom really quickly & then come right back"... so I did... but I knew it was a lost cause, since I had just gone before leaving home! Nope, not even a trickle. :o)

Oh well... it's okay, I guess! LOL. I had kept off my home scale since Wednesday morning, I just didn't want to know... I knew it was close, though. Darned cookies yesterday. :o)

This morning when I got up, I measured myself... I wanted to prove to myself that I was making progress, even if the scale didn't say so... & I had!!! Yeah!

Since mid December when I measured last & was 204 lbs...
1.5" off my hips (9.5" total since 1/03)
3" off my waist (10" total since 1/03)
3" off my chest
2" off my bust (can you say deflate??)
Everything else has pretty much stayed the same... but it is just cool to see those numbers, huh?

I'm wearing a size XL in regular sized shirts, rather than Women's sizes. AND I'm wearing fitted clothes, rather than baggy ones. I feel SUPER feminine & just love that!!

The size 18 jeans that were too tight on me @ Christmas are now getting baggy.

& I feel FABULOUS...healthy, confident, proud, etc...

So who gives a rip about ONDERLAND, right???

Okay, I guess I do. :o) It's such an amazing milestone to reach for me... REALLY. It's been since probably 1990 since I've seen ONDERLAND... that's a long time ago.

Anyways, guys... THANK YOU so much for all of your support & encouragement... I love being part of such an incredible group of people... you are my family & I cherish you all.

Okay... that's enough gushing... I need to save my emotional breakdown for when I actually DO reach ONDERLAND!! For now, I'll just be happy w/ having ONDERLUST! :o)

H A P P Y . V A L E N T I N E ' S . D A Y ! !

xxoxox.... Julie