RAMBLING...LETTER TO A FRIEND...

Hey Jane (Doe) ...

As far as 50 lbs seeming so far away...I know exactly what you mean...I've always thought like that...it's just way WAY too overwhelming if you look @ it all like that. I mean, geez, I have a total of like 125 lbs to lose if I wanna get down to 140 (the TOP of my healthy weight range for my height!!)....THAT is a huge amount of weight. But when I started thinking about all of the years that I had been thinking like that...

"I can't do this, it's too much to lose"
"I'll never make it, why bother?"

...I realized that not only had a ton of time passed, but that I was getting larger & larger each year...when was it going to stop? Even if I had changed just a little something in how I did things all of those years that I was overwhelmed... stop drinking pop, stop eating fast food, start walking more, etc...I would've been healthier by now. Crazy, huh?

So...one thing that I've been working on this last year is to realize that things aren't just going to happen on their own. I've always thought "when I'm feeling better (not depressed, not scatter-brained), I'll do something about this (weight, house, work, etc...)"....I've come to realize that things just don't happen like that. If you don't actually DO SOMETHING about it, it's not going to happen...& will probably get worse. It sure happened that way w/ me. The more I left things to happen on their own, the worse & more overwhelming it got. How in the heck do I tackle all of that? Talk about stress, anxiety, etc. You know how I feel...when I let the house get out of control, it's soooooooo overwhelming...where in the heck do I start? So I usually just don't...I shut down...& then what happens? It gets worse. It's not going to fix itself on its own, right? Nope!! Same thing w/ the weight...you gotta make it happen & it's not going to happen over night. I can't hire an organizational lady to come in & organize my house w/out getting into it w/ her & learning all about how to keep it that way, right? If I don't, the house will go back to an unorganized mess in no time.

Same w/ weight-loss, Jane. Look @ John (Doe)...he goes for the quick fixes...the hand-holding...the strict "diets" that do the work for him & teach him nothing about living in the real world....Metabolife, Atkins, Jenny Craig, Slimfast, Optifast, Diet Centers, etc...so he has great success w/ them while he's on their program, but the minute he's on his own, he doesn't know what to do except what he has always been doing when he's on his own.

Do this the right way, Jane...know that it's going to take alot of time...but you HAVE alot of time. Time is going to pass either way...you can spend it getting yourself moving in the right direction, or you can continue to backslide, right?? As much as I would love to just take you by the hand & say "listen to me...I know what I'm talking about" (cuz I do! LOL!!), you're still going to have to figure all of this out on your own.

I heard people say for years that...

"you have to do this for yourself" (not for your spouse or for a reunion, wedding, party, etc...)
"it has to be a lifestyle change" ....what's that?? A lifestyle change???

Well....it's true!! I NEVER did it for myself...it was always for an outside reason....always.

And I never understood the "lifestyle change" theory, until I realized that what I had been doing all along was "dieting"...something temporary, till I got the weight off, then I went back to my OWN LIFESTYLE...unhealthy eating...bad choices...compulsive picking, etc... OH...THAT'S what a lifestyle change is...ANYTHING BUT THE ONE THAT WAS ALREADY SECOND NATURE TO ME...that's what!!! WOW...LIGHTBULB MOMENT!!! :o) So...you mean I actually have to CHANGE?? Yep....I have to make a healthy lifestyle become second nature to me...I have to become that healthy thinking person. Crazy, huh??

Anyways...I'm talking myself into circles. :o)

Do you watch Dr. Phil?? I LOVE him.....I know alot of people don't...but I do & I really believe that he knows what he is talking about w/ this weight loss issue, cuz every time I see him, he just verifies what I've been working on the last year...the stuff that I've been internalizing. He's asking these people, who are following his "plan", to dig way down deep inside themselves & work on that part before they start to work on the outside....you REALLY have to do that, Jane. As much as I'd love to believe that there are new meds out there that would be the magic pills that would magically allow us to naturally keep the house clean & help us make the right choices in our lives, there aren't...we are the ones who actually have to do the work!! ARG! It sucks, IF you think of it as sucking. When you realize that "hey, yeah...I actually have to make this happen" you can go one of two ways....

- HATE IT...because you really don't want to work for it...work sucks!!! So you hate every step you have to take & will never figure out how to live w/ having to do that the rest of your life...

- or you can EMBRACE IT...yeah, I know that sounds corny...but you can figure out how to find a little JOY & SATISFACTION in what it takes to get your act together...KNOWING that you have to do it for the rest of your life, so you may as well figure out how to enjoy it, right?? You gotta!!

I HATE to exercise...always have...but I realize that when I'm out walking, I actually enjoy it...I think about what it is doing for me...it's helping my metabolism, which is going to help me w/ my weight-loss & it's going help shape my butt & legs...right?? It's doing something for me & I LIKE THAT!!! Wow...that means I must like exercise!!! NOT!! LOL!! But I like what I'm getting out of it, so I'm going to do it!! (& not dread it cuz I found the benefits!!)

Same way w/ food...

Same way w/ my attitude. I could sit here & think...

"man, I only lost a pound this week...this is going to take forever" or
"why in the world did I gain this week? I was GOOD....this isn't worth it...I'm doing all this for nothing!!!"

Nothing?? Hello...those 50lbs didn't come off over night & didn't happen all by themselves, did they??

I am FIFTY pounds lighter than I was 9 months ago!!! I just can't believe that! I would be just as thrilled if I were 10 or 20 lbs lighter, cuz if I hadn't started this process, I would surely be 10-20 or more lbs HEAVIER than where I started!! I would more than likely be OVER 300 lbs now & that is really REALLY scary!! (but reality!!)

When things are going S L O W... Arg! ...I realize that I am building the super strong foundation that I need to keep this lifestyle w/ me for the rest of my life...it's becoming MY LIFESTYLE more & more each day. It's actually GOOD that this is a long process...I'm learning so much about myself & my life w/ food...how I react to different situations & how my body reacts to different types of food. I'm working it all out & that's really important!

Yikes...I sure know how to go on & on, don't I? LOL!!

Jane...you can do this...I know you can! Start small...find one thing you can do each day & be proud of it. Feel that pride way down deep & remember it. Remember how great it feels to feel good about something, rather than to be down on yourself, again.

Anyways...I think I need to quit now...otherwise I'll be another dozen paragraphs into this & realize that I'm still going on...& on & on!! LOL!!

Love you...let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you!
I'm here for you...always!!

xxoxoxoo....Julie