ARTICLE...DR. PHIL ON WILLPOWER - 2 OF 3

Dr Phil: “Willpower is Overrated!” There’s a better way to keep your resolve from dissolving.
By Phillip C. McGraw, PH.D (O magazine January 2001)

Taking the First Step
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QUESTION:
Why am I afraid to take the first step?
I was recently at a party where everyone was talking about New Year’s resolutions. I am about 175 pounds overweight and want so badly to change my body. But when my turn came to announce a resolution, I chickened out and chose some meaningless hooey about reading more and improving my mind. I hate myself for being so overweight, but I hate myself even more for being intimidated by the idea of actually losing the weight. If I had 30 pounds to lose, or even 50, I think I could face it. But my weight has gotten so far out of hand, I’ve just given up. How can I ever find my way back to a healthy body when I am too scared to even say that I want it?

ANSWER:
I completely understand how such a huge task can be overwhelming. Where most people would be proud to lose 10 to 20 pounds, you feel losing that amount of weight is like a spit in the ocean. But that’s the wrong way to be looking at your problem. You aren’t helpless, you aren’t lost, and you don’t have the right to give up on yourself.

Your first and greatest challenge is not the struggle to lose 175 pounds, it’s to overcome the self-defeating internal dialogue that has paralyzed you. You’re telling

It’s clear that you are afraid that if you try to lose the weight you might fail. You need to stop pummeling yourself with negative thoughts for being where you are and realize that you are a failure only if you quite while you’re behind. The second you start pursuing your goal in earnest, you’re in control again!

Think about it this way: The next six, eight, or ten months are going to fly by whether you are doing something about your weight problem or not. Instead of being intimidated and afraid of failure, why don’t you focus on the math? Losing even two or three pounds per week over the next eight months can add up to 6o pounds or more. Don’t focus on dropping 175’ pounds. Think about trying to lose just a pound or two or three per week— that’s something you can tackle. You are wasting time by repeatedly berating yourself—don’t wait another day to start this journey. (To help you make a plan for those couple of pounds a week, follow the steps I outlined in my answer to the first question above.)


Next...The Buddy System...Good Idea??

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Philip C. McGraw, Ph.D., is president of Courtroom Sciences, a litigation firm in Texas. He is the author of Life Strategies and Relationship Rescue. Have a question for Dr McGraw? Send it to: Tell It Like It Is, 0, The Oprah Magazine, 1700 Broadway ,38th floor New York, NY 100I9. Or visit Oprah.com and click on 0, The Oprah Magazine.